things you can try with a girl in a club, and things you shouldn't

here is a list of things you can actually try with a girl you have met for the first time (friend, friend of a friend, colleague, hi-oh-so-you-know-vivek- from-rohtak? and so on) while grooving in the club:

1. gently tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, looking at her all the time and managing that i am so innocent, i do it all the time smile.
2. whisper lines from promiscuos girl (timbaland portion, timbaland style) in her ear; just make sure that the song is playing because it might just sound really irritating if the dj is spinning out kylie minogue.
3. if she is dancing real close to you and touches your elbow, you can hold her. make sure it is not i want you, nor is it the i'll smother you . it is supposed to be hey its great to be with you hug.
4. on a sensuous hiphop number, perform as a woman for the girl. i mean the pelvic routine, specially on pussycat dolls. here kitty kitty...here kitty kitty....
5. teach her your routine, and i mean, really teach her, the movement of hands, legs, feets etc. this goes well with maria maria, it adds if you know the lyrics as well.

things you shoudn't try, specially you are meeting for the first time:

1. don't try and act like an african american rich guy, with a cigar in one hand and champagne in other, sitting in a corner, looking at her through cheap janpath sunglasses, nodding your head slightly to the beat, thinking that the b**** will come and ask for the keys to your ride.....because she won't, because indian girls are not b******, because, in all probablity you dont even have a car, and the song you are nodding you head to, is something you heard for the first time, because she thinks you have eye flu, since you are wearing your shades when you are inside and its dark, and most probably because you really are not african american, and not rich at all and you've got CHOPRA written all over you.
2. don't ever , ever tell her that she is drunk. if she is really drunk, she probably knows and if she is that drunk that she doesn't even know, well then, don't just leave her on the mercy of the circumstances, make sure she gets home. your home if she insists.
3. don't tongue her ear lobe, just because she let you hold her close. wait, if she wants it, she will give you a very subtle go ahead. till then, be content holding her. keep your fingers crossed, though.
4. we don't usually kiss each other on the dance floor, usually.
5. don't try to teach her to dance, specially if you do not have a diploma from shiamak davar school. and don't stop her to correct her if she missed a beat.

why the f*** am i writing this post? because i still don't have the lead actress of my show and i have a lot of time to kill, that reminds me, when was the last time i went out with someone i was meeting for the first time??? well, well, well.