it is all about rejection, if you ask me. even if you don't ask me, i'll tell you. remember, when in XI class, you thought that kavita likes you. hell, you knew she liked you, you could never muster courage to walk up to her and say, hi kavita, how are are you? and by the way, i really like you and would you be my friend, not that 'we are friends' friends, but a special one? maybe we can go out sometime or talk to each other on the phone, every night, when every one is asleep? or wait till the first trip has gone (there were usually two chhutti time in my school, one for IX and XI class and the other for X and XII class, they had to stay in school for a little longer, board exams and all that) and sit and talk? or maybe just hold hands? or maybe i can show you how to kiss without using my hands?
you didn't say that because what you had in mind was lovelier and more promising than what might had happened if you spoke to her. like she could have told you, 'oh shantanu, you are so cute, but i never thought of you in that way.' and you would go home shattered, vowing never to love anyone again. sometimes you would just go home and cry. that can scar you for a lifetime. however, there is a breed of men, who are not satisfied with just fluttering eyelashes and smiles and random girls/boys saying, 'oh i think kavita is sweet on you, vivek'. they want more. they want to do all those things, mentioned earlier, especially, no hands kiss thing. so, they speak to their respective kavitas, priyanks, geetanjalis etc. and they get to do the no hands kiss thing. well, most of the time.
lets look at the problem logically. if an average guy falls in and out of love with ten girls in a span of three years, he has two options. one, he speaks to every girl about his feelings, gets rejected thrice, gets slapped twice, gets politely snubbed twice and YES!!!, strikes lucky thrice. the second option is that he gets stuck to the first girl he likes, smiles at her, never speaks to her, goes on living with a wonderful fantasy in which the girl and guy get married, make love at mountain top, roof top, car top etc. basically, he forgets about the other nine girls, who come in his life, flutter their eye lashes at him, get no response and move on the one with skoda. now, the first option gives you at least three chances to get lucky, the second option doesn't even guarantee one. so, why do so many people choose option two?? as i said earlier, it is about rejection. it is the same fear that tells you to not to be creative and original at work, your boss might not like it; hold yourself back at a party, what will the really cool people think of you? don't say what you really want to say, you friends will start disappearing.
sometimes, i feel that option one would've been a better idea. but then, sometimes, you stumble upon some amazing people from the past, although there is no desire to hold hands or do the no hands kiss thing, at least not now, you are just happy that you chose option two, because no amount of holding hands 'we're just friends's' can outshine the glorious memories of an era gone by.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
are you a lesbian?
have you ever noticed that your 'foreign returned' friend has started to shy away from touching any one of the same sex? let me explain. last sunday i went to meet my friend piyush at the international airport. he was returning from london after spending 8 months cracking complex computer programmes for IBM. he came out, smiled at every one. pairi paina to mummyji papaji, aur kaisa hai chintoo to chintoo. and then he looked at me, came over and extended his right arm in my direction. i, on the other hand, was standing like shahrukh khan, my arms wide open, waiting for piyush to embrace me. he looked at me, as if to tell me, look here my man, we used to do jhappi things when we were in school, now i do this only to sharon from the accounts department, london office. i held my pose and poise. he had to relent, and when he was attached uncomfortably to my chest, i kissed him on the cheek. he tore himself away and looked to his right and left, luckily no one saw it. london had made my friend completely insecure about his own sexuality.
people in india like to touch people whom they like. it does not matter if that person is a man or a woman. if a man likes a woman, he definitely wants to touch her, trust me. and if a man likes another man, then he has to hug, backslap, high five, mock strangle, dry hump, squeeze or kiss him. that is the norm. that is how it works here, because by default, every one is perfectly straight, or at least used to be when we were growing up. it was only with the advent of cable tv, we knew about men who liked to touch other men, in a sexual way. it was funny, for a while. then, it became scary. for us, and for our parents. sleepovers began to dwindle. every one went on to do his own thing. and thankfully, no one lived in the shadow of our happy(?) days.
thankfully, because there is a very thin line between being able to touch people of the same sex and actually craving to touch people of the same sex. and this line might just fade away if you spent a lot of time with same sex friends after reaching a certain age. it is okay to be able to take a shower with navdeep and sabharwal when we were 18, but begging navdeep to undress and do a barb wire routine when he is 29 and a father, is completely different.
in 1992, something happened that opened our eyes to the whole gay/lesbian affair, sorry wrong word, issue. chhotu and siddha spent three hours exercising, spent the next two hours giving each other full body massage, next one hour was devoted to a hot water bath, together. then they slept for three hours, in the same bed, sharing a takiya and a razzaai. when they woke up, chotu's mom asked them, kya tum log lesbian ho? auntie didn't know the difference between gay and lesbian then, but she asked the right question.
chhotu and siddha are perfectly straight, married and still very close friends but they don't believe in their old routine now.
people in india like to touch people whom they like. it does not matter if that person is a man or a woman. if a man likes a woman, he definitely wants to touch her, trust me. and if a man likes another man, then he has to hug, backslap, high five, mock strangle, dry hump, squeeze or kiss him. that is the norm. that is how it works here, because by default, every one is perfectly straight, or at least used to be when we were growing up. it was only with the advent of cable tv, we knew about men who liked to touch other men, in a sexual way. it was funny, for a while. then, it became scary. for us, and for our parents. sleepovers began to dwindle. every one went on to do his own thing. and thankfully, no one lived in the shadow of our happy(?) days.
thankfully, because there is a very thin line between being able to touch people of the same sex and actually craving to touch people of the same sex. and this line might just fade away if you spent a lot of time with same sex friends after reaching a certain age. it is okay to be able to take a shower with navdeep and sabharwal when we were 18, but begging navdeep to undress and do a barb wire routine when he is 29 and a father, is completely different.
in 1992, something happened that opened our eyes to the whole gay/lesbian affair, sorry wrong word, issue. chhotu and siddha spent three hours exercising, spent the next two hours giving each other full body massage, next one hour was devoted to a hot water bath, together. then they slept for three hours, in the same bed, sharing a takiya and a razzaai. when they woke up, chotu's mom asked them, kya tum log lesbian ho? auntie didn't know the difference between gay and lesbian then, but she asked the right question.
chhotu and siddha are perfectly straight, married and still very close friends but they don't believe in their old routine now.
Monday, February 18, 2008
sex education
every time i read about the importance of sex education for teens and young adults, i sincerely feel that showing diagrams and organising special lectures about birds and bees is futile. the health ministry should recruit undercover sex gurus, train them and send them off to small towns of the country, with a special assignment: talk to those young boys and girls about sex. that is the only way those people can learn, because the only reliable (?) source of information on this tricky subject is that boy/girl in your class who knew everything about sex. that boy/girl has never seen a member of the opposite sex naked, except of course on screen, thanks to midnight lover VHS tape, courtesy batra video library, the 'scene' portion refusing to play properly, as it has been rewound and played on slo mo a million times before. so, basically the real teachers of sex education in every town and village are those young boys and girls who have that smug aura of 'i know, wink wink'. if only the government can replace these wiseasses, (is there a word like that, wiseasses? huh!!), with trained professionals, cleverly disguised as average school boys and girls, we wouldn't have so many messed up sexual lives today. it is never too late to implement the plan, though.
take a look at these wonderful gems i picked up from my school and subhash nagar:
1. jab aapke mummy papa karte hain, aapke papa ke uska ek tudka andar rah jaata hai, wohi tudka bada hoke bachha ban jata hai.
mackey manchanda, XI C, DAV School, Sept.1994
translation: when the parents have sexual intercourse, a small piece of the father's penis remains inside the mother's vagina. that piece slowly develops in to a baby.
2. oral sex ka matlab hota hai sex ke baare mein baatein karna.
kapila ahuja, X, DAV School, August 1993
translation: oral sex means talking about sex.
3. zyada mutth maarne se bachhe paida nahin hote.
gaurav rana, VIII, DAV School, March 1991
translation: excessive masturbation leads to impotency.
4. jis ladki ki seal na tooti ho, uske saath sex karne se aadmi hamesha jawaan rehta hai.
gaurav khurana, Subhash nagar, 1993
translation: sexual intercourse with virgins ensures permanent youth.
and now, my personal favourite. kamal hans, XI, DAV School, 1994. we were in the school library, discussing about the difference in shapes and sizes of our privates parts and i said, 'bechari ladkiyan, unke paas apni jaisi cheez nahin hoti'. which means, poor girls, i mean, how can anyone live without a penis? please read carefully what he had to say:
5. ladkiyon ke paas bhi hota hai, unka andar ki taraf hota hai, bahut chhota hota hai, dikhai bhi nahin deta, lekin hota hai
translation: girls also have penis, it is on the inside, it is very small, it can't be seen, but they have it.
imagine this, a 21 year old, his first sexual encounter and all he is looking for is the girl's penis. just because he happened to be in the same library, where kamal hans was sharing his knowledge.
Oh, the popular ones in schools and colleges, please DO NOT talk about these things unless you can back it with parivaar niyojan pamphlets.
take a look at these wonderful gems i picked up from my school and subhash nagar:
1. jab aapke mummy papa karte hain, aapke papa ke uska ek tudka andar rah jaata hai, wohi tudka bada hoke bachha ban jata hai.
mackey manchanda, XI C, DAV School, Sept.1994
translation: when the parents have sexual intercourse, a small piece of the father's penis remains inside the mother's vagina. that piece slowly develops in to a baby.
2. oral sex ka matlab hota hai sex ke baare mein baatein karna.
kapila ahuja, X, DAV School, August 1993
translation: oral sex means talking about sex.
3. zyada mutth maarne se bachhe paida nahin hote.
gaurav rana, VIII, DAV School, March 1991
translation: excessive masturbation leads to impotency.
4. jis ladki ki seal na tooti ho, uske saath sex karne se aadmi hamesha jawaan rehta hai.
gaurav khurana, Subhash nagar, 1993
translation: sexual intercourse with virgins ensures permanent youth.
and now, my personal favourite. kamal hans, XI, DAV School, 1994. we were in the school library, discussing about the difference in shapes and sizes of our privates parts and i said, 'bechari ladkiyan, unke paas apni jaisi cheez nahin hoti'. which means, poor girls, i mean, how can anyone live without a penis? please read carefully what he had to say:
5. ladkiyon ke paas bhi hota hai, unka andar ki taraf hota hai, bahut chhota hota hai, dikhai bhi nahin deta, lekin hota hai
translation: girls also have penis, it is on the inside, it is very small, it can't be seen, but they have it.
imagine this, a 21 year old, his first sexual encounter and all he is looking for is the girl's penis. just because he happened to be in the same library, where kamal hans was sharing his knowledge.
Oh, the popular ones in schools and colleges, please DO NOT talk about these things unless you can back it with parivaar niyojan pamphlets.
Friday, February 15, 2008
meri back....teri back.....
rahul chaudhary called today. his phone call rekindled the panga compromise days in some corner of the mind. if you were a hot blooded male, living in rohtak during 1993 to 1998, panga and compromise meant a lot. it meant a lot more than whose penis is bigger. here is a couple of personal pangas, compromise and 'back'.
1. zyaada aashiqui chal rahi hai aaj kal!!!!
location:
red brick house, next to the model town post office
players:
a.) an XI class student, who went to the post office to drop a letter for ragini, probably written to her cousin in bangalore
b.) pappa, incredible hulk look alike, moral policeman, model town ki top (cannon), taken very seriously by the likes of above mentioned XI class students and respected by some senior badmaashs
dialouge:
'kya kar raha tha?'
'post office gaya tha'
'na, woh toh theek hai....ragini se kya baat kar raha tha?'
' woh.....usi ka letter post karne gaya tha'
' meri baat sun...aaj ke baad, yeh joh teri scooter ghumane ki aadat hain na, chhod de...maan ja...saale tera bhoot bana dunga'
'pappe, panga mat kar...main bhi ......'
dialogue is broken off due to some mumbai underworld moves shown by pappa.
the student walks off, wearing the bruise like a badge.... he tells every one in colony and school, 'pappe se panga ho gaya tha yaar, ragini ke chakkar mein'. in the meanwhile, ragini is unaware of the student's presence, in fact if she had decided to ask anyone for a small favour in model town, she could consider it done, hell, even if she wanted someone to commit harakiri...
2.' woh meri friend hai, saale galat mat bol'
location: som sweets
players:
a.) 2-3 students of , you guessed it, class XI
b.) a student of class X, ajay balhara, has some serious psychological problem, known to show off a pistol in class
dialogue:
'yaar, tumhari class mein ladkiya sexy hain'
'ajay, teri senior hain be, dhang se reh'
'abe woh anisha badi chalu hai, maine suna hai....shantanu ke budday pe bhi aayi thi'
'ajay, meri dost hai, aukaat mein rah'
'abey senior hai toh kya ukhaar loge......'
a major scuffle follows with the students engaging ajay and pappa, who incidently got caught in the cross fire. the shows ends with an item number by sheelu dahiya, who declares to entire model town, 'jo guddu ko haath lagayega, main use chhodunga nahin'
3. ragini
this type of panga never has a fixed cast of players. class X, XI, XII students, local milk man, colony chiefs, Nikhil Mehta (son of ragini's teacher in VPS), vivek varma (sindhu family's relative from out of town, who happened to live in sindhu mansion opposite ragini's house). the list is endless. if any one wanted to be known as one of ragini's suitors, all he had to do was start a panga with any one who happened to be in 5 kilometere radius of the light grey corner house in subhash nagar. poor girl never knew that about 4500 fights took place in rohtak because of her. or maybe she knew, and took pride in it.
Compromise:
1. pappa was politely pointed out that the class XI student he bashed up was a friend of sheelu dahiya, a trigger happy psychopath who never hesitated before hurling bricks at any one, even his father.
2. ajay balhara and pappa were put back in their respective, much deserved places by the class XI students, navdeep and gaurav rana, champions of street fight. the third student being the one who, by default, was known to have a great 'back'.
back= list of strong arm men known to you directly or indirectly who would rush to your aid if you happen to be engulfed in a panga.
last time i went to rohtak and tried to stare at some mean looking guys in model town, i got a 'namaste bhai saab' for my effort. i think i still have that 'back'.
in case you are wondering why write about 'back'? the answer is simple. it was important then and in a way, it is important now. it is reassuring to know that there is a maniac, ready to protect you if pappa decides to rearrange your face. and it is reassuring to know that a few, very close friends will do whatever it takes to help you out, whether it is the ever present money crunch, or an even more depressing 'long time, no action' crunch.
rahul chaudhary wrote the names of people he considered his 'back', on the last page of his maths register. i featured in that list, a little lower than i would have liked at that time.
my register had navdeep's and sabharwal's number. i still have the register. i still remember showing off my bruises. i spoke to ragini, got my arm twisted real bad, my face scratched on a brick wall, walked home smiling. one week of glory.
1. zyaada aashiqui chal rahi hai aaj kal!!!!
location:
red brick house, next to the model town post office
players:
a.) an XI class student, who went to the post office to drop a letter for ragini, probably written to her cousin in bangalore
b.) pappa, incredible hulk look alike, moral policeman, model town ki top (cannon), taken very seriously by the likes of above mentioned XI class students and respected by some senior badmaashs
dialouge:
'kya kar raha tha?'
'post office gaya tha'
'na, woh toh theek hai....ragini se kya baat kar raha tha?'
' woh.....usi ka letter post karne gaya tha'
' meri baat sun...aaj ke baad, yeh joh teri scooter ghumane ki aadat hain na, chhod de...maan ja...saale tera bhoot bana dunga'
'pappe, panga mat kar...main bhi ......'
dialogue is broken off due to some mumbai underworld moves shown by pappa.
the student walks off, wearing the bruise like a badge.... he tells every one in colony and school, 'pappe se panga ho gaya tha yaar, ragini ke chakkar mein'. in the meanwhile, ragini is unaware of the student's presence, in fact if she had decided to ask anyone for a small favour in model town, she could consider it done, hell, even if she wanted someone to commit harakiri...
2.' woh meri friend hai, saale galat mat bol'
location: som sweets
players:
a.) 2-3 students of , you guessed it, class XI
b.) a student of class X, ajay balhara, has some serious psychological problem, known to show off a pistol in class
dialogue:
'yaar, tumhari class mein ladkiya sexy hain'
'ajay, teri senior hain be, dhang se reh'
'abe woh anisha badi chalu hai, maine suna hai....shantanu ke budday pe bhi aayi thi'
'ajay, meri dost hai, aukaat mein rah'
'abey senior hai toh kya ukhaar loge......'
a major scuffle follows with the students engaging ajay and pappa, who incidently got caught in the cross fire. the shows ends with an item number by sheelu dahiya, who declares to entire model town, 'jo guddu ko haath lagayega, main use chhodunga nahin'
3. ragini
this type of panga never has a fixed cast of players. class X, XI, XII students, local milk man, colony chiefs, Nikhil Mehta (son of ragini's teacher in VPS), vivek varma (sindhu family's relative from out of town, who happened to live in sindhu mansion opposite ragini's house). the list is endless. if any one wanted to be known as one of ragini's suitors, all he had to do was start a panga with any one who happened to be in 5 kilometere radius of the light grey corner house in subhash nagar. poor girl never knew that about 4500 fights took place in rohtak because of her. or maybe she knew, and took pride in it.
Compromise:
1. pappa was politely pointed out that the class XI student he bashed up was a friend of sheelu dahiya, a trigger happy psychopath who never hesitated before hurling bricks at any one, even his father.
2. ajay balhara and pappa were put back in their respective, much deserved places by the class XI students, navdeep and gaurav rana, champions of street fight. the third student being the one who, by default, was known to have a great 'back'.
back= list of strong arm men known to you directly or indirectly who would rush to your aid if you happen to be engulfed in a panga.
last time i went to rohtak and tried to stare at some mean looking guys in model town, i got a 'namaste bhai saab' for my effort. i think i still have that 'back'.
in case you are wondering why write about 'back'? the answer is simple. it was important then and in a way, it is important now. it is reassuring to know that there is a maniac, ready to protect you if pappa decides to rearrange your face. and it is reassuring to know that a few, very close friends will do whatever it takes to help you out, whether it is the ever present money crunch, or an even more depressing 'long time, no action' crunch.
rahul chaudhary wrote the names of people he considered his 'back', on the last page of his maths register. i featured in that list, a little lower than i would have liked at that time.
my register had navdeep's and sabharwal's number. i still have the register. i still remember showing off my bruises. i spoke to ragini, got my arm twisted real bad, my face scratched on a brick wall, walked home smiling. one week of glory.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
ok.....ragini is my fren
i tried to start pimpin' my blog through sabharwal...and i get a frenship request from ragini.....yippeeeee!!!! only if kareena kapoor had spent some time in rohtak!!!!! time to move on to more rohtak stories, starting from the next post.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
rohtak stories 2
Ragini
the year was 1994. rohtak girls were living their lives the way a Murrah buffalo deals with the routine. idyllic, quiet, a quick swish of the tail to smack a few distracting flies, mandatory and public groping of the udders. suddenly, jyoti and priyanka of D.A.V School, XI C, (C for Commerce, not for Chalu), noticed that vivek and nikhil are not paying any attention to them. they were conspiring about something in the recess instead of waiting for them in front of the girls toilet. jyoti suggested that vivek must be telling nikhil about masturbation, since Vivek was always full of useful information, like, kab sex karne se bachha nahin hota?
it was tuition time at Pasrija Coaching Classes and priyanka was actually waiting for nikhil, whom she really liked, in fact priyanka had already dreamt about suhaagraat with nikhil, complete with dhoodh ka glass and petticoat ka naada.
nikhil and vivek were not there. priyanka wasn't able to concentrate on Labour Laws. she was thinking about nikhil. where could he be? was there any other girl in his life? has he started gambling with vivek's elder brother, vishal? priyanka was regretting that she didn't go to the tilyar lake mini zoo with nikhil. zyada se zyada ek pappi hi toh karta........Pasrija Sir's class came to an end after what seemed like years, and jyoti and priyanka decided to roam around in Model town for a little while. Veg patteez and thumsup will be useful while waiting for nikhil. jyoti could also use this time to look at nihal singh, that rugged jat who excelled at volleyball in school, wore tight half sleeves shirt and completely ignored jyoti. suddenly, priyanka saw nikhil, on his white bajaj chetak, fondly called badal, vivek was with him. they were going sloooooooow, they were looking at someone. priyanka followed their gaze.
at 5 feet, 3 inches, the girl was towering over the entire model town market. even ramu of ramu fried burger fame was distracted. the girl was smiling, at no one in particular. she just seemed happy. kohl lined eyes, hint of rouge, hair tied in a regulation pony tail, hour glass figure. but something that was noticed by priyanka, jyoti, gopal uncle of gopal provisional store, dheeraj gulati of gulati medicos and many others at the same time was the length of her skirt. casually flirting with the lower thighs and upper knees, the skirt was at least three inches short than the standard 'no knees' skirts of 1994. she was wearing white socks, folded in a way to cover only the ankles, and to top it all, waxed legs!!!! priyanka immediately understood that nikhil doesn't belong to her anymore.
the year is 2008. every day, about 200 people, born between the years 1974 to 1984 try to trace Ragini on orkut, facebook, myspace and youtube. she is there, on orkut, facebook, myspace and youtube. she gets 15 'frenship' requests every day. she sometimes talks to her former fans.
in the words of Pankaj Taneja ( 1976-, Senior Manager, Training and Development, Genpact): 'pichhle tees salon mein agar rohtak ki dharti pe kisi ne janam liya hai, toh woh hai Ragini'
more rohtak stories will be added as soon as ragini acknowledges my attempt at 'making frenship' with her.
the year was 1994. rohtak girls were living their lives the way a Murrah buffalo deals with the routine. idyllic, quiet, a quick swish of the tail to smack a few distracting flies, mandatory and public groping of the udders. suddenly, jyoti and priyanka of D.A.V School, XI C, (C for Commerce, not for Chalu), noticed that vivek and nikhil are not paying any attention to them. they were conspiring about something in the recess instead of waiting for them in front of the girls toilet. jyoti suggested that vivek must be telling nikhil about masturbation, since Vivek was always full of useful information, like, kab sex karne se bachha nahin hota?
it was tuition time at Pasrija Coaching Classes and priyanka was actually waiting for nikhil, whom she really liked, in fact priyanka had already dreamt about suhaagraat with nikhil, complete with dhoodh ka glass and petticoat ka naada.
nikhil and vivek were not there. priyanka wasn't able to concentrate on Labour Laws. she was thinking about nikhil. where could he be? was there any other girl in his life? has he started gambling with vivek's elder brother, vishal? priyanka was regretting that she didn't go to the tilyar lake mini zoo with nikhil. zyada se zyada ek pappi hi toh karta........Pasrija Sir's class came to an end after what seemed like years, and jyoti and priyanka decided to roam around in Model town for a little while. Veg patteez and thumsup will be useful while waiting for nikhil. jyoti could also use this time to look at nihal singh, that rugged jat who excelled at volleyball in school, wore tight half sleeves shirt and completely ignored jyoti. suddenly, priyanka saw nikhil, on his white bajaj chetak, fondly called badal, vivek was with him. they were going sloooooooow, they were looking at someone. priyanka followed their gaze.
at 5 feet, 3 inches, the girl was towering over the entire model town market. even ramu of ramu fried burger fame was distracted. the girl was smiling, at no one in particular. she just seemed happy. kohl lined eyes, hint of rouge, hair tied in a regulation pony tail, hour glass figure. but something that was noticed by priyanka, jyoti, gopal uncle of gopal provisional store, dheeraj gulati of gulati medicos and many others at the same time was the length of her skirt. casually flirting with the lower thighs and upper knees, the skirt was at least three inches short than the standard 'no knees' skirts of 1994. she was wearing white socks, folded in a way to cover only the ankles, and to top it all, waxed legs!!!! priyanka immediately understood that nikhil doesn't belong to her anymore.
the year is 2008. every day, about 200 people, born between the years 1974 to 1984 try to trace Ragini on orkut, facebook, myspace and youtube. she is there, on orkut, facebook, myspace and youtube. she gets 15 'frenship' requests every day. she sometimes talks to her former fans.
in the words of Pankaj Taneja ( 1976-, Senior Manager, Training and Development, Genpact): 'pichhle tees salon mein agar rohtak ki dharti pe kisi ne janam liya hai, toh woh hai Ragini'
more rohtak stories will be added as soon as ragini acknowledges my attempt at 'making frenship' with her.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
rohtak stories 1
rohtak is a small town in haryana. about 75 kms west of new delhi, it is the home town of Mallika Sherawat, Randeep Hooda, and the first IPS officer to join Interpol, Ravi Kant Sharma. it is also the place where Subhash Ghai spent three years during his graduation. it is a place where the sarkari theka opens at 6 am. the sarkari schools open at 8 am. it is a place where, if a girl wears anything other than a salwaar kameez, it is called a dress. jeans is dress, skirt is dress, frock is dress and dress is dress. there is a big university in rohtak, Maharishi Dayanand University, commonly known as MDU. there are two major extracuricular activities of male students of MDU: panga and compromise. there is another activity which is preferred by male students from delhi: chhoribazzi. these students usually go to internet cafes and/or the archies gallery. there are two major activites of the female students of MDU: sports and library. there are a few chalu female students who take lifts from male students on their black/red pulsar/cbz.
there is a Mallika Sherawat Fan Club in rohtak. there is a Randeep Hooda Fan Club in rohtak. there is an underground Anti Mallika Sherawat club as well. the members of this club believe that Mallika Sherawat has no right to call rohtak her hometown, because she never spent any time in MDU or in Model Town market. and if she did, what was she wearing? a burqa? because anyone looking like Mallika Sherawat would get noticed. all the members of this club have spent 30 years in MDU and Model Town market, permanently committing every good looking girl/woman/bhabhi to memory.
good looking girls/women/bhabhis are called maal in rohtak. any three wheeler, known as auto in rest of the world, which has at least three maals, is called a maal gaadi. a maal can be 15 year old school girl, 20 year old student of BA (pass), or 31 year old bhabhi from DLF colony. in order to see all the three above mentioned maals, a strict timetable is required. the schoolbus comes to the bus stop at 7.20 am, it is important to escort the girl, ragini, to her school on your bike or scooter, after all, a good impression is very important. impressing a girl is called number banana. manju, that BA (pass) girl, goes for her English tuition at 4 pm. she is not alone. her friend, pushpa, is with her. pushpa is not good looking. there is a juice shop in front of Prof. Srivastava's house. it is very important that manju looks at you as soon as she comes out of Prof. Srivastava's house. it is also very important that tinku, the juice boy, is okay with credit.
sujata bhabhi will go to shaam tailors to get her blouse stiched. every time, shaam bhaiyya needs to get the measurement. sujata bhabhi likes the professionalism. sham tailors is also close to Prof. Srivastava's house. ek teer se kai nishane.
watch this space for more rohtak stories.
there is a Mallika Sherawat Fan Club in rohtak. there is a Randeep Hooda Fan Club in rohtak. there is an underground Anti Mallika Sherawat club as well. the members of this club believe that Mallika Sherawat has no right to call rohtak her hometown, because she never spent any time in MDU or in Model Town market. and if she did, what was she wearing? a burqa? because anyone looking like Mallika Sherawat would get noticed. all the members of this club have spent 30 years in MDU and Model Town market, permanently committing every good looking girl/woman/bhabhi to memory.
good looking girls/women/bhabhis are called maal in rohtak. any three wheeler, known as auto in rest of the world, which has at least three maals, is called a maal gaadi. a maal can be 15 year old school girl, 20 year old student of BA (pass), or 31 year old bhabhi from DLF colony. in order to see all the three above mentioned maals, a strict timetable is required. the schoolbus comes to the bus stop at 7.20 am, it is important to escort the girl, ragini, to her school on your bike or scooter, after all, a good impression is very important. impressing a girl is called number banana. manju, that BA (pass) girl, goes for her English tuition at 4 pm. she is not alone. her friend, pushpa, is with her. pushpa is not good looking. there is a juice shop in front of Prof. Srivastava's house. it is very important that manju looks at you as soon as she comes out of Prof. Srivastava's house. it is also very important that tinku, the juice boy, is okay with credit.
sujata bhabhi will go to shaam tailors to get her blouse stiched. every time, shaam bhaiyya needs to get the measurement. sujata bhabhi likes the professionalism. sham tailors is also close to Prof. Srivastava's house. ek teer se kai nishane.
watch this space for more rohtak stories.
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