The Intern

he was afraid to make a mistake. he decided to visit semiconciousness and look for an answer. then he slipped back in his dream. it all started with testimonials. "Dear ------, check the testimonials your friends have written about you." but instead of a web page, all he saw was a collage of post it notes, pasted on a black chart paper. there was a man standing next to the Wall.
Hi, i am your case officer. are you ready to begin your internship?
the case officer resembled Jeff Corwin. he was wearing khaki shorts and a jungle shirt.
yes....yes....i think i am ready.
ok great, let me first show you the Apartment.
20x20, surrounded by a four feet high dirt wall. the wall was full of fist sized holes. on the other side of the wall was a moat. the water in the moat was crystal clear. he thought he saw something swimming in the water. the case officer saw him looking at the moat.
don't worry, we will get to the bagpipes later.
but, what was that?
an anaconda.
he had agreed for the internship. no one had forced him to do it. now, he was scared and he wanted to know when will the internship end.
the internship will end when you plunge in to the moat. the anaconda and the great fresh water Nile crocodile fight with each other to decide who will devour you.
do you mean.... i signed up for suicide?? that too voluntarily??
yes, but that doesn't happen until next week. till then, you will learn a lot of things.
such as?
the case officer just smiled.
the first night at the apartment was scary. he wasn't able to rest his aching back on the dirt wall. everytime he tried to lean on the wall, he felt something moving behind his back. something ...reptilian.
he moved to the exact center of the apartment and tried to sleep.
he woke up next morning to find the case officer sitting next to him.
your friends were here last night, when you were sleeping.
huh?
yes, and they deleted everything they had written about you or to you. so, now your facebook, orkut accounts have no friends, no testimonial, no fans, no scraps, no messages, no photos, no comments, no 'hugs', nothing.
even r*****?
no, she didn't come. in fact, she might come today. no, i am lying. she is already here.
r came to the apartment. she was wearing denim shorts and a denim shirt. her hair was frizzy and when she pulled her hair back to tie it in a knot, he noticed that she had a massive scar on her forehead that stretched deep in to her scalp.
what happened?
i completed the internship. she smiled and sat down beside him on the ground.
it was tough but now i am complete.
have you deleted whatever you had written for me?
no, i wanted you to delete me yourself.
he looked at the case officer. he was reaching inside a hole in the wall. suddenly, he took his arm out of the hole. he had a puff adder in his hand.
This is considered to be Africa's most dangerous snake, not only because it is probably the most common and widespread snake in Africa, but also because of its large size, potent venom, and willingness to bite.
Africa?? wasn't my internship supposed to be held in columbia?
no, the mangement changed the venue at the last minute.
but if this is africa, why is an anaconda swimming in the moat?
we just thought it might add to the final round of appraisal. you know, kinda up the tempo. we imported this beauty just for you.
r was fidgety. she wanted to go.
but you can't go. i just saw your shorts. there is big hole on the underside.
haha, i am complete. my internship is over. it doesn't matter anymore.
r got up and left.
he knew what he had to do.
he walked to the wall. the case officer had released the puff adder inside a hole.
i want to take the final test right away.
ok.
he was standing in a glass case which was hanging 20 feet over the moat. his body was shaved completely. he was wearing the final test uniform. plain white full sleeves shirt and green and yellow boxer shorts. a plastic tube emerged from his shirt and was connected to a plastic pipe. his abdomen hurt. it was then when he realised that the plastic tube came from his bladder.
the bagpipes.
he could see the moat.
first the anaconda was released. it swam quickly, as if he knew what was about to happen. then suddenly, a crocodile appeared in the moat. both the reptiles were huge. first few drops of urine appeared in the plastic bag.
am i ready? he asked himself. will i ever be complete? do i need web based validation to exist?
yes.
he woke up.