rolling?? ok, action!!

thank god for rahul chaudhary's comments, at least someone is reading. i would also like to believe that ragini reads my blog, but then it might just be wishful thinking. ok, this post breaks away from the teen fantasies lanes of rohtak and forces its way to the wonderful world of television.
i am looking for an actress, who is good looking, can act and is ready to pout for rs.10000 per day. there are girls who are really good looking, there are girls who can act and there are girls who are willing to pout for rs 10000 per day, but there aren't any girls who can do all these things. thats exactly why i am writing about it. if you are thinking, how difficult it would be, you know, to find an actress like that?
it is, because, audition is the only word in english language that can turn a normal human being into a caricature of reality.
read on:
me: your name, your height, phone number and a brief introduction, ok, rolling?? ok, action!!
girl : hi, my name is nidhi, but you can call me nidhs....(my cameraman starts to guffaw) i have done graduation in mass com. from rai university, i have done 2 serials for DD, an ad for neelkamal washing powder and a few ramps, i am a bubbly person, very hardworking and like to enjoy life...that all(and it is that all)
me: errrrr..height and phone number........
girl : ohh sorry......98********, 5'3''
me: ok i am looking for my central character, she is a woman who is extremely beautiful and thinks that she can manipulate every one, she has been scheming to kill her husband and has now enticed the servant, so that he can kill the husband...i'll be the servant, and she is sonia...we improvise as we go along, there aren't any fixed dialogues right now, just make sure you don't go overboard, you just give your entire range of emotions, all right?? ok, action!

sonia: shambhu, yeh tum kya kar rahe ho???????? tumhe ab yeh....aloo pyaaz katne ki koi zaroorat nahin hai...
shambhu: k..kya kah rahi hain, memsaab...
sonia holds shambhu's hand. shambhu cringes. sonia memsaab ki aankhon mein itna pyar????aur woh bhi ekdum nakli??????
sonia: kya tum nahin chahte shambhu, ki hum , sirf tum aur main, yahan se dooooooooooor kisi khoobsurat se jagah chale aur apna ek pyara sa ashiyana banae??? huh shambhu????????

sonia's eyes can already see that pyaar sa ashiyana, with a labrador named buzo, a windmill, a barsati waterfall which will double as sonia's private bathroom, where she will take a shower wearing only a white gamchha, and when shambhu will look at her, she will turn crimson and run away in the nearby stable, which incidentally has no horses but a makeshift bed made of dry, itch proof hay. sonia and shambu will fall on the bed in slow motion.
shambhu, in the meanwhile, is still not convinced. he is trying to think about the most stylish way of snatching off that gamchha, but maalik's saamri face brings him back to reality.
shambhu: par memsaab, saab...ko pata chal gaya toh......
sonia goes berserk, she giggles, like the evil witch who put snowhite in that predicament.
sonia: unko raste se hatana hoga.......
sonia moves closer to the camera, suddenly turns
sonia: aur yeh kaam, tum karoge....tum shambhu....phir, daulat hamari and main.....tumhari....
shambhu can't take it any more. CUT.